life - the steaming pile of excrement

i had originally planned to post here more often than once a month. but here i am almost a month since my last post. i am not sure why this has been so hard for me. perhaps it is the line between private and public. or not wanting to seem as bitchy as perhaps i feel sometimes.

one of things i wanted to avoid was having this turn into nothing but another whiny bitchfest about how shitty the universe in general and my life in particular are. but human nature is to always look for the worst. and certainly my nature fits into that mold. but i am going to try to keep it from getting too deep in my own shit. i don't want to read it, don't think others should have to either, and really would rather not contribute to the problem here. so while there will indeed be some discussion of my life's traumas and turmoils, i will try to keep it from turning into another boring pile of steaming excrement.

so, whats up in my life these days.

we have begun the new year of the program. 12 new and excited students. yeah right. we'll see how that goes. already a few hiccups, but we seem to be moving in a forward direction. we have a month worth of scheduled classes under our belt and given to the students, so that is nice. now we see how many of them break.

so several months ago (probably longer) i used to go to coffee with a co worker. there was a fairly attractive young woman working at the coffee shop where we would often go. my co worker kept trying to get me to ask her out. i, of course, did not. why you ask. we'll get into that later. for now just follow along. eventually this co worker one day told me that she was only going to go to coffee with me if i asked this girl out. i said i wasn't going to. she said fine we're not going. and we didn't. really ever again.

the co worker has since left the company, moved to another country called florida and abandoned us to the tender mercies of someone else. we are hurt, but somehow find the strength to struggle on with out her. but she is missed.

a couple days ago, i was working in my office (which is a somewhat scheduled and somewhat sporadic event) and walked over to the main office. whilst there, the office manager, dispatcher and i decided to go get coffee. we ended up going back to the same coffee shop. as we got there, i thought it was funny and so related the story to the others. the dispatcher starting talking about trying to get me to ask the girl out too. except for one small snag: she didn't work there any more. oops.

however, in the process of ordering coffee (which i had always been under the impression was a fairly straight-forward process but soon discovered that the correct percentage of estrogen could indeed turn a simple coffee run into a complex female shopping trip guaranteed to put any man into a coma by the time they could decide on what to wear, i mean drink) we met another woman who works at the shop. a very attractive, friendly, attractive, nice, attractive, helpful, attractive young woman. the weird thing was she actually talked to me. and she wasn't helping us. but there were few customers in the store and she was free. but usually for attractive young women, that means run away from the big fat scary guy so i was understandably confused when she held a conversation with me.

so we (finally) finish ordering, get our drinks and head out for the car. once outside, my co workers immediately start in on me about she was nice, you should ask her out, etc etc. however, i noticed a ring (if you know what i mean) and said so. i don't know whether in this case it really means anything or just happens to be jewelry, but it was there and on the correct finger.

so hopefully that will put to an end any more discussion about me asking her out. but i have the feeling that it was a mistake bringing these two into the knowledge of such an event having ever happened.

well i think that will be enough for today.

more next time on rifts, shadowrun and the nature and future of gaming.