the last few weeks have been completely insane.

technology failures, general unhappiness, people really pissed at me, more technology failures, working really hard, very very busy, even more technology failure, medical drama and a complete desire to just die and be done with it such as i have not had in quite some time.

so the program i administer seems to be diving headlong into the abyss. i try to pull it up but there is only so much one person can do, especially when the support structure wont. i push and pull, fight and cry, but nothing seems to work.
i don't know how much more of this i can deal with.

my personal cyberpunk issue (the failure of technology to fulfil its promise) began when at&t took cingular back over. i have had nothing but problems with my cell phone since. calls not ringing through, my calls not getting out, voice mails appearing two weeks later, etc. and now the damn thing seems to be having physical problems as well. i need to take it in for repair, but if it is going to cost too much i will have to get a new one. not happy about that. new phone is in the plan for next year, not this one. this could be a problem.

now as i am trying to sort all of that out, my internet keeps going out at home. finally after much gnashing of teeth and rending of clothes i figure out it is the phone modem for my voip phone. when i first got into voip, the modem thet used was inline, and came before the router. so everytime it started to go down, i would lose my internet as well as my phone. but now i have replaced it with an after router version. so far it seems to be working much better.

i am going to leave the bitching, moaning and whining at that for today. or at least for this post. more to come, i am sure.

new beginnings.

well, i set off the grand experiment...

and promptly failed.

but here we are so maybe not total failure.

life progresses. lonely, depressed and wondering what exactly the point is right now, but still alive. maybe something will come up soon. in the meantime, keep going.

went and saw die hard yesterday. fun movie. interesting premise. cute girls. bruce willis doing that which made the first movie good.
i recommend.

some friends and i playd rifts on saturday. for those unaware, rifts is a role-playing game. yes, i am a gamer. rifts is set about 400 years in the post-apocalyptal future. there is incredibly high technology, magic has returned to the world, big icky things from various and sundry other dimensions, worlds and universes, as well as the development of psionics. quite a world of danger, fear, anger, adventure and fun is rifts. the system has some issues, but we have over the years worked out a number of house rules to fix many of the difficulties. at least for us. this rifts game (campaign) has been going on for many many years now. it is set in Japan, where there is an interesting mix of technology, magic, martial art mystic powers and monsters to eat you. gotta love it.

someday i will tell you more about the campaign and the characters. and probably the world. but enough for now. i am so worried about running out of things to talk about, i want to keep a few in reserve just in case.

perhaps i will get better at this as time goes by. the writing. the thoughts. the quantity as well as quality.
perhaps not.

but for now, that is my life.