the first "educated" rant.

in my last post, i said i would have more information on "rifts, shadowrun and the nature and future of gaming." this is somewhat of a large and daunting task. however we will begin by taking small bites out of it.

in a previous post i talked briefly about rifts. i will tell more as we go along, but i think today is not about rifts.
shadowrun is another role-playing game. there is much fun to be told there as well, but again, i think not today.

in the interest of full disclosure, i began this post on 23 august. today is 6 september. obviously i missed a few days in there.

the last few weeks have been tough for me. trying to stay positive and not get caught up in the negativity of my past has made it hard for me to consider posting. ranting at the anger and depression that has become the reality of my life for the last little while seems redundant and deconstructive. so i avoid it. unfortunately, between that and being busy, exhausted and in a great deal of pain, not to mention slightly unwell, i have managed to avoid posting for a couple weeks. now its time to move on.

recently, i have had several very big and interesting conversations. while in the process of these, i often think, if only i could relate these in my blog, maybe i could take myself seriously as a writer. but alas, i fail to do so and now i feel like i am somewhat lost in attempting the recreations. but perhaps i will attempt them anyway.

education.
my upstairs neighbor is a teacher. from comments she has made over the few years i have known her, i have felt she was very defensive about the system as a whole. however, i have some very large issues with the education system and feel it needs to be revitalized, revisited and perhaps even reinvented. but mostly, i feel it needs to be discussed. this is the biggest problem though. it seems all of those within the field are angry at anyone outside of it offering a viewpoint or suggestion towards improving the system, yet they themselves are not doing anything to do so. all of the pat answers are tired and unsupported, as well as being vague and not reasoned terribly well. not to mention completely contradicted by many of the new studies coming out. while i may not advocate many of the alternative suggestions being made by the "outsiders", i do feel that there needs to be a dialogue between all of those concerned. and with all of the teacher complaints about parents not being involved enough in the children's education, it seems a bit hypocritical to yell at them for trying to become involved. so i tried to have a limited conversation with my neighbor, sounding her out on some of the things i have been reading and learning about. and she made some of the same old defensive pat answers that i have the problems with. so i snapped. i didn't exactly yell, but i was, perhaps, a bit aggressive in my... exhortation of my viewpoint. i actually became a little afraid i had mortally wounded her by the end of my diatribe, for in truth such it was. however, she said it made her think, not only about the problems and my opinions of them, but also about her responses to questioning of the system, and claimed to want to spend time examining her thoughts to discover whether or not she was just parroting the party line of "right" answers, or actually believed those same statements. we will have to see. i haven't spoken to her for a while (which is not unusual; often weeks go by without me even seeing her in passing), but i must admit a certain curiousity as to what her response will be when we talk again.

now i suppose you are wondering what might be these opinions, thoughts and ideas that would so terribly offend a defender of the system.
the biggest issue is the ingraining of the system itself. i think anyone actually trying to sit back and look at it would admit there is "something rotten in the state of denmark". even many if not most educators will say there needs to be more done; our children are completing coursework without any knowledge being apparent. we are rapidly falling behind the rest of the world in educating our youth.
where all of the problems seem to be is what specifically defines the problem and what can be done about it.

problems:
students not acquiring the knowledge necessary to compete effectively in an information society and economy.
children losing their childhood, not developing well socially, physically, emotionally as well as intellectually.
parents not being involved enough.
use of outdated or useless techniques simply because "thats how it is done".
(this particularly relates to homework, something that most studies show to be ineffective in academic improvement yet teachers assign anyway, often as a 'punishment' for parents, trying to force them to become more active in the child's education process.)
teachers not being rewarded appropriately (ie not paid enough).
substandard teachers.
no effective means of removing teachers who are substandard or otherwise need to be removed.
(cases including a teacher who admited to sexual contact with female students using school emails, who was not able to be fired for over two years, during which time, he was still required to be paid as well as having to pay a teacher to actually teach his classes since obviously no one wanted him in the classroom.
teacher unions. (and i say this as a member of a labor union. i understand the need of the collective to support the rights of individual members against management, but how how exactly is anyone served by forcing the system to have to support those who are ineffective or dangerous to the students.)
no independent or reasonable system to judge when a teacher is substandard.
lack of community support (not enough spending).
no accountability of funds spent. ( is more really what is needed?)

i am sure there are more. and yes, i have my opinions on some possible solutions. and, no i am not an expert on education theory, etc. nor am i a parent. what i am is concerned with the future of young minds. and i would like to share and/or discuss my suggestions and thoughts. but i think i will save them for a later post. this one is long enough.

i will close out with one quick thing. there are several reasons that i have lately become involved in the debate on education. i believe that we as a society and as individuals owe it to ourselves and our children to see to it that if we cannot provide them with a better world, we at least see to it they have the tools to begin finding the way there themselves. and the only way to begin that is to educate them. encourage the joy in learning all children have, not strip it away in pursuit of mediocrity. which leads me to the more specific cause. while i may not have children, i do have siblings with children. i have seen what happens in households that encourage learning, as well as what happens when it is not. in particular, i have one niece who is very, very bright, whose joy in learning is so great, you almost wish you could get her to stop. she absorbs knowledge. fortunately, her parents strive to strengthen this aspect of her personality. they push all of their kids to learn. not force, but provide ample opportunity and support. whatever it may be they wish to learn.

i just hope their love and support wil be enough to get her past the joyless, incomprehensibly cruel world of "education".

i welcome opinions, for or against. lets open the dialogue.

life - the steaming pile of excrement

i had originally planned to post here more often than once a month. but here i am almost a month since my last post. i am not sure why this has been so hard for me. perhaps it is the line between private and public. or not wanting to seem as bitchy as perhaps i feel sometimes.

one of things i wanted to avoid was having this turn into nothing but another whiny bitchfest about how shitty the universe in general and my life in particular are. but human nature is to always look for the worst. and certainly my nature fits into that mold. but i am going to try to keep it from getting too deep in my own shit. i don't want to read it, don't think others should have to either, and really would rather not contribute to the problem here. so while there will indeed be some discussion of my life's traumas and turmoils, i will try to keep it from turning into another boring pile of steaming excrement.

so, whats up in my life these days.

we have begun the new year of the program. 12 new and excited students. yeah right. we'll see how that goes. already a few hiccups, but we seem to be moving in a forward direction. we have a month worth of scheduled classes under our belt and given to the students, so that is nice. now we see how many of them break.

so several months ago (probably longer) i used to go to coffee with a co worker. there was a fairly attractive young woman working at the coffee shop where we would often go. my co worker kept trying to get me to ask her out. i, of course, did not. why you ask. we'll get into that later. for now just follow along. eventually this co worker one day told me that she was only going to go to coffee with me if i asked this girl out. i said i wasn't going to. she said fine we're not going. and we didn't. really ever again.

the co worker has since left the company, moved to another country called florida and abandoned us to the tender mercies of someone else. we are hurt, but somehow find the strength to struggle on with out her. but she is missed.

a couple days ago, i was working in my office (which is a somewhat scheduled and somewhat sporadic event) and walked over to the main office. whilst there, the office manager, dispatcher and i decided to go get coffee. we ended up going back to the same coffee shop. as we got there, i thought it was funny and so related the story to the others. the dispatcher starting talking about trying to get me to ask the girl out too. except for one small snag: she didn't work there any more. oops.

however, in the process of ordering coffee (which i had always been under the impression was a fairly straight-forward process but soon discovered that the correct percentage of estrogen could indeed turn a simple coffee run into a complex female shopping trip guaranteed to put any man into a coma by the time they could decide on what to wear, i mean drink) we met another woman who works at the shop. a very attractive, friendly, attractive, nice, attractive, helpful, attractive young woman. the weird thing was she actually talked to me. and she wasn't helping us. but there were few customers in the store and she was free. but usually for attractive young women, that means run away from the big fat scary guy so i was understandably confused when she held a conversation with me.

so we (finally) finish ordering, get our drinks and head out for the car. once outside, my co workers immediately start in on me about she was nice, you should ask her out, etc etc. however, i noticed a ring (if you know what i mean) and said so. i don't know whether in this case it really means anything or just happens to be jewelry, but it was there and on the correct finger.

so hopefully that will put to an end any more discussion about me asking her out. but i have the feeling that it was a mistake bringing these two into the knowledge of such an event having ever happened.

well i think that will be enough for today.

more next time on rifts, shadowrun and the nature and future of gaming.